Disconnect and Reconnect

It has been a while since I last spent time with myself, doing something that I liked, alone. Before returning to Islam, I used to frequent watching theatres and plays, attend concerts, or listen to poetry recitals. When I changed, I changed. Everything became haraam. I wiped clean my hard drive off any media, stopped going for anything related to the arts, and I think a lot of who I am was removed along with it.

Last night I somehow ended up an event (I literally left the computer lab and headed there for no reason, like I had no choice). There were spoken word performances, acoustic performances, poetry recitations, and short talks on pursuing creativity, the arts and our passion. With the cosy atmosphere, the circular seating arrangement, and just the vibe of the students in attendance, it felt like I stumbled upon an old friend.

Only that the old friend now speaks of Allah, of family relationships, of war-torn countries the likes of Kashmir, Syria and Palestine.

I embraced my old friend, and sat comfortably alone in a corner, just smiling to myself, feeling like me once again.

Alhamdulillah :)

Fadhilah Wahid
My name is Nur Fadhilah Wahid. I am a seeker of knowledge, a Muslimah in progress, and a writer. I believe in the magic that can happen when like-hearted and like-minded individuals come together :)

2 thoughts on “Disconnect and Reconnect”

  1. Assalamualaikum Sister :)

    I too lost a part of me when I returned to Islam. I completely changed from who I was. Nowadays I go through an emotional rollercoaster every now and then. I’m struggling to find balance. But I can’t give up. I want to feel whole again.
    May Allah SWT help us. Ameen.

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